


I Write Sins Not Tragedies

by goodbye_yellowbrickroad, saucyboyjunior



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Crack Fic, Hogwarts AU, Hogwarts Fifth Year, M/M, Multi, Slow Burn, So much angst, Triwizard Tournament, did i mention its a crackfic???, mature language, ooc pretty much everyone, second triwizard tournament, triwizard tournament IN fifth year
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-18 16:33:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14217228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodbye_yellowbrickroad/pseuds/goodbye_yellowbrickroad, https://archiveofourown.org/users/saucyboyjunior/pseuds/saucyboyjunior
Summary: Grantaire is begrudging starting his fifth year at Hogwarts. Enjolras, however, has high hopes for it. Grantaire absolutely hates that about him. However, Grantaire has a lot more to worry about than stupid boys. He faces new challenges such as the Triwizard tournament, finding a date to the yule ball, getting over his own feelings and learning to love himself. He also has a few friends help him on the way to self discovery, so he isn't truly alone...but why is there still a dull ache that lingers in his chest every time he looks at a certain blond haired revolutionist?





	1. Welcome to My Life

*Grantaire’s P.O.V.*

 

It was September 1st when I had to meet with those IDIOTS again. But, it was also my chance to see HIM again too. I was absolutely dreading it. His stupid perfect gold locks and stupid perfect chiseled face...god how I despise him. Don’t even get me started on the other idiots I seem to surround myself with. I hate those oxygen thieving melodramatic fucking posers.

 

I was alone in my very own compartment. Peace. Sweet, sweet peace. Something I cannot often find when I’m at Hogwarts. I was reading my book,  _ Transfiguration for Dummies,  _ when Courfeyrac literally punched the door opened and walked in. He was already in his Hufflepuff robes. 

 

“Sup bruv!” He had said to me, in his heavy fake cockney accent. He spoke like that to make people think he was truly from England. But he and I and basically everyone one from the amis were all french transfer students. We all left France because we hated the Beauxbatons uniforms. 

 

“Hi, Courf,” I said in a depressed sounding voice. I said it in a depressed voice because I wanted to know how my book ended. But I closed the book and set it aside. “What’s up?”

 

“Not much bruv, my dog died this morning but it’s whatever because it’s the first day back at Hogwarts!” Courf said, grinning. 

 

“Oh my god!” I exclaimed, eyes wide. “How did your dog die?”

“Oh he had cancer but like...dog cancer. You know- cancer...for dogs?” He said, statistically. 

 

“Oh, right,” I said, nodding. “Cancer… for dogs. I know what you mean.” I did not know what he meant.

 

“Anyway…” Courf said, sighing dramatically. “Have you seen Combeferre?” Grantaire looked around the near empty compartment and then back at Courfeyrac.

“Nope. I haven’t seen him.” I said, quirking an eyebrow, you know, because I am gay. 

 

“Aw,” Courf said, frowning at his feet. He looked up at me again and he opened his mouth to say something, but I will never know what he was going to say to me because, suddenly, the open door slid open. Jehan leaned dramatically against the door jam, draping one arm over their head and winking at Courf and I in a seductive manner. 

 

“Soooooo,” they said, “you two come here often?”

 

“Jehan you useless nonbinary, we’ve only gone to this school for 4 years.” I said, rolling my steel grayish blue eyes. 

 

Courf, on the other hand, winked back and replied, “Sure do.”

 

Before any of us could say anything more, Bahorel came bursting into the compartment, out of breath. “Jehan I told you to wait for me!” He whined while also trying to catch his breath. 

 

Jehan didn’t answer, instead examining their nails which were painted baby blue with pink flowers.

 

“Nice manicure Jehan.” I complimented them, and then turned to Bahorel. “You’re all sweaty. Gross, dude. Why’d you run in here?” I asked, sounding pissed.

 

Bahorel mumbled something about being afraid of feeling left out and began to rifle through the bag hanging from his shoulder. “Shit. I lost my inhaler again.”

 

“That sucks...sorry man.” I said, trying to think of a spell that could help him summon his lost inhaler. I thought about that, because I genuinely care about my friends even though I’m emo. 

 

Courf didn’t appear to do any thinking at all. He reached into his pocket, pulled out his wand, and pointed it at the general area of Bahorel’s lungs. “ _ Respiarare _ !” he shouted before Bahorel had the chance to protest.

 

Bahorel sat there, blinking rapidly, looking like a confused deer in headlights. He drew in a steady breathe, and his mouth feel agape in surprise. “Thanks mang!” He said to Courf, a soft and delighted smile gracing his features. 

 

I was about to scold Courf since he’s literal shit at magic and he decided it was a good idea to experiment his skills on Bahorel’s organs. Before I could though, the still open door slid open again and Combeferre entered, nose stuck in a book. He walked into Jehan because he wasn’t paying attention to where he was going. 

 

“Watch where you’re reading!” Courf said, and although he was yelling, he seemed to have a happy smile on his face. Wow...what a hopeless gay. 

 

Combeferre smiled when his gaze fell upon Courfeyrac. He crossed the tiny compartment and kissed him quite deeply. The kissed lasted a tad longer than a kiss should in a public setting. Bahorel and I said, “Ew.” Jehan sighed and whispered romantically, “Ah, young love.”

 

Once they parted from each other, Combeferre sheepishly smiled, and scratched the back of his head. “Hey everyone...how was your summers?” 

 

I laughed as if Combeferre had said something very funny. Combeferre cocked his head to one side, like a confused puppy. He adjusted his glasses, which was a habit of his, and gave me a concerned look.

“Um...I’m guessing you didn’t have a good summer then?” He said.

 

I laughed again.

 

Courf rolled his eyes. “Oh my god R, just fucking tell us what’s up. You are so emo sometimes!”

 

“Excuse you!” I yelled. “I am not emo sometimes… I am emo  _ all the time.  _ So fuck you.” Then I sighed a long, overly dramatic sigh. “It’s just… my parents.. they are… you know.”

“Conservative? Right wing? Anti-liberal? They hate Shrek?” Courf asked, before I could even give him a real answer. 

 

“All of the above,” I said. “But you forgot homophobic, racist, close-minded, ignorant, and they won’t let us get a dog.”

 

Courfeyrac gasped, pretending to collapse onto Combeferre. “How terrible!” He yelled out, squeakily. 

 

Just then, the door slid open and Bossuet stumbled in, tripping and falling flat on his face. “Hi, guys,” he greeted, his voice muffled by the floor. 

 

“Hi Bossuet.” We all greeted him, sounding as if we were attending an alcoholics anonymous meeting. 

 

He slowly lifted himself from the floor and looked around at everyone in the compartment. He frowned and asked. “Why are you all standing? There’s like… no room left… you know.. to stand.”

 

“Oh well aren’t you a genius.” I said, rolling my eyes. “Thanks a lot Catherine Obvious.” As I said this, everyone scrambled to their seats. 

 

Everyone began to chatter idly and hardly noticed when Joly and Feuilly walked in side by side, probably because most people usually forget about them anyway. But they sat down and chatted with one another. 

 

I, of course, had noticed them come in because I genuinely care about my friends. I didn’t say anything though because I wanted to start reading my book again without interruption. 

 

I picked up my book again, slowly opening it and praying that no one would interrupt me this time. Unfortunately, that bastard decided it was the perfect time to enter the compartment. His golden curls, usually wrapped in a messy bun atop his head, cascaded like a waterfall over his shoulders. His idiotic eyes looked extra bright that morning. He was already in his Hogwarts uniform sans, with his Slytherin tie hanging undone around his neck. His sweater and dress pants hugged his figure nicely and it made me  _ sick.  _ I felt something, a hot something, bubbling deep within me and I didn’t know exactly what it was but I assumed it was HATRED.

 

I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. It was always like this. Every time he entered the room, he took my breath away. I figured it was just the pure rage that seemed to bubble in my stomach. He was too perfect, too much for me. And everyone adored him. Everyone in our friend group absolutely loved him. It made me sick, like to the point of nearly vomiting.

 

“Bad news,” said Enjolras. When he spoke, my skin felt… strange. His voice struck a nerve with me. Like my skin was trying to crawl off of my bones. “Neo and Aspen are on their way down the train.”

 

“Ugh! Oh no! Somebody lock the compartment door!” Joly said, groaning. There was a chorus of sounds of disgust and “oh no”s coming from everyone else. I, myself, felt a headache brewing in the back of my brain at the mere mention of…. Neo and Aspen. 

 

Neo Axel Tequila Crimson Holliday and Aspen Blaze Pearle Universe Starr were in the same year as all of us amis and, for some inexplicable reason, they were positively obsessed with us—especially me. Always wanting to know what I’m up to, where I’m going and when. In year one, when we were all sorted by the Sorting Hat, the Hat couldn’t pick one house for either of them. Neo was in Gryffindor and Hufflepuff and Aspen was in Gryffindor and Ravenclaw, but they always seemed to be in the Gryffindor common room exclusively because  _ I  _ was in the Gryffindor common room. 

 

Aside from being infatuated with us, they were just plain annoying. They were loud, melodramatic, late to everything (except for every meal), they disobeyed school rules and the laws of physics, and worst of all….they were American and absolutely insufferable. They disrupted every single class they were in, they disrupted everyone’s lives they forced themselves into, and disrupted every train of thought with their stupidity and abrasiveness. To say I hated them was an understatement...but they were fun sometimes...and I guess they were pretty nice to me. Especially when I was feeling emo, but that’s besides the point. They’re stupid. 

 

Enjolras slid the door shut behind himself, checking to see if their was a locking mechanism that was all knew was not there. With a heavy sigh he squeezed himself in between Jehan and Bahorel. Just as Enjolras had himself seated, a foot clad in a dark red Doc Marten boot kicked through the door, sending shards of glass pouring over the small compartent’s floor. The Doc Marten wearing foot was attached to Aspen who, after breaking the rest of the glass with her fist, appeared through the doorway. Neo followed closely behind her screaming, “WASSSUP, YOU HOES!”

 

Aspen Blaze Pearle Universe Starr stared at us all through eyes that were painted with dark eyeshadow. Her lashes were thick and unnatural and her black eyeliner was perfect. Her lipstick was the same shade as her boots. Atop her head was a hat that you might see a middle aged mother from the 50s wearing on an afternoon outing to the beach with her 7 kids — a red ribbon sprinkled with white polka-dots hung from the wicker hat. The hat covered most of her hair because her hair was so short. Her ears were pointed, though none of us knew why, and she had two earrings in each of them. She wore a white bodysuit, printed with plump red cherries, beneath a denim jacket and denim skirt (the jacket had ribbon that matched the one around her hat sewn into the sleeves while the skirt was designed with more delicious looking cherries). Her iPhone was sticking out of the pocket of her jacket and it was buzzing obnoxiously, but once she found me in the crowd nothing could distract her. 

 

Neo Axel Tequila Crimson Holliday strutted to the center of the compartment and dipped down, popping back up, a crooked grin on his face. His eyelashes were covered in fresh mascara, and his eyelids were painted with soft baby pink eyeshadow. His brown eyes glittered in the light, mischief evident in the gloss of his pupils. His outfit consisted of mom jeans, the word juicy embroidered on the butt of them and a tie-dye crop top with the phrase “saucy boy” written across the chest. His flip-flops flip-flopped noisily with every step he took, and it made me cringe. What was even worse, perhaps, was the pair of weed socks he happened to be wearing with his stupid sandals. I felt sick just looking at him. He wore an atrocious holographic hat to cover his unruly brown hair. I immediately thought I might go blind from the multicolored monstrosity of a cap, that happened to shine even brighter under the sunlight that spilled into the compartment. As soon as Aspen’s eyes had found me, so did his. And I knew… all hell was about to break loose. 

 

“GRANTAIRE!” They both shouted, ear-piercingly loud. Immediately everyone winced at the sharp sound of their voices. I tried to hide behind Bossuet, but before I could, Neo had picked me up and scooped me into a group hug with him and Aspen. I wanted to scream. I wanted to literally die in that moment. 

 

Aspen released me, but Neo continued to hold onto me tightly. Aspen turned to the rest of the amis and asked, “How were all of your summers?” Feuilly was the only one who seemed willing to speak to her, but when he opened his mouth to speak she shushed him. “I was really only asking Enjolras, honey bunches of oatmeal.”

 

I watched, helplessly stuck in Neo’s death grip, as Enjolras began to stammer out a confused response. 

“Um...fine? I guess.” He said, seemingly weirded out that Aspen had asked him of all people.  _ Ugh, what a prick! _ I thought. 

 

“Oh, us too!” Neo said,  _ finally  _ releasing me from what I would later come to call: The Worst Hug of My Life. “In fact, we had the best summer! Ever! Wanna know what we did?”

 

“Not really, but go off I guess.” I said, brushing off Neo’s germs from my clothing. I returned to my seat and picked up my poor, neglected book from where I had been sitting previously. I had decided that I was going to try and ignore those bumbling weeaboos and get through another chapter of my book. 

 

“We… wait for it… drum roll…” Aspen said, grinning. “Come on, drum roll… Are you ready for this?” Together, her and Neo announced, “We got tattoos!”

 

“Isn’t that… you know...illegal?” Joly said. Why did they have to keep talking so loud?

 

“Eh, a little,” Aspen said, waving the notion away with her hand while Neo got really close to my face and asked with a sly smirk, “Do you want to see our tattoooos?”

 

“No.” I said flatly, looking away from my book to shoot them a glare. “Can’t you see some of us are trying to read in peace?”

 

Aspen snickered. Neo looked up at her and snickered as well. 

 

I sighed quite heavily again, about to ask them what they thought was so funny, but before I could speak, Enjolras intervened.

 

“Seriously guys, can’t you just be serious for once in your life? Can’t you just be silent for one moment. I have a speech I need to write for a rally in hogsmeade and I can’t focus with all your tomfoolery.” He said, with a steely glance. I felt my heart skip a beat, but I wasn’t sure why. 

 

Fortunately for us amis, a voice rang out through the Hogwarts Express alerting us all that we would soon be arriving at Hogwarts so if we were not already in our school uniforms then we should change soon and swiftly so. Neo and Aspen exchanged panicked glances, muttering to one another that they may not have enough time to perfect their appearance in their uniforms. “We need to hurry,” they agreed aloud. And so, at long last, they bid us farewell and they were off. 

 

I thanked all that was holy that they were gone, and quickly pulled my gryffindor robes over my casual clothes— skinny jeans and a paint splattered shirt. I tried tying my own tie, but I was always shit at tying things, so I gave up immediately. The others also began to pull on their robes, all except for Enjolras who simply had to tie his tie. This pissed me off royally, he could tie things and I fucking couldn’t do a damn thing. 

 

We all piled out of the compartment, stumbling down the corridor toward the exit with the rest of the student body. I kept an eye out, constantly glancing over my shoulder nervously. There was no sign of Aspen and Neo coming to bombard me with more questions and ridiculousness, but I noticed that I was beginning to twitch like I usually did when school began each year, when I had to deal with those horrible imbeciles on a daily basis. 

 

Even though I hated my parents for their cruelty, I enjoyed my summers a lot more than I enjoyed the school year. I didn’t have to deal with those ingrates, and during the summer I could at least escape from the hell that was my house. I couldn’t escape Hogwarts, not without being caught. Realizing this made me twitch even more. Fuck, I did not want to be sober in that moment. 

 

We burst into the cool, night air. I inhaled deeply, eyes closed, relying on the group around me to keep me moving without walking into anything. I reopened them to find, with shock, that Enjolras was the one walking at my side. He looked at me and I looked back at him, prepared for an intense glare-off. Instead, Enjolras smiled at me. Well, that was a bit of an exaggeration. Actually, he turned one corner of his mouth northward for a second, but it was enough to set me off.  _ How dare he?  _ I thought to myself with a scoff. I was so focused on the audacity of Enjolras’ actions that I forgot to look where I was going and found myself tripping and plummeting toward the dirt beneath my feet. Before I could hit the ground, though, I felt a pair of strong arms encircle me.

 

“Hey are you alright?” Enjolras said, helping me stand upright and stable. His eyebrows were knit together in a concerned glance, and his sky blue eyes seemed to be scanning my own, as if he could peer into my soul and see all of my problems, all of my concerns. I felt my heart begin to pound, and my breath get caught in the back of my throat. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything, nor could I find the capability to properly express words. My voice just… wouldn’t work. Something was clearly wrong with me. I thought I might be ill….very very very ill. 

 

“U-umm,” I stammered when I found my voice at last. “Y-yeah,” I said, squirming out of his grip. “Yeah, I’m just dandy. I only tripped, no need to invade my personal fucking space. Aren’t you all about consent before you touch someone? Like at all? Ever? God, dude! Get away from me!”

 

Enjolras quickly removed his hands from my arms, where he had caught me. He winced as I spoke. “Shit, I-I’m sorry.” He stammered out, looking both apologetic and hurt. He looked rather...vulnerable in that moment. It was a strange sight to see, usually he seemed to be so calculated and level-headed. 

 

I frowned, feeling regretful about what I said. Generally, I didn’t regret anything that I said to Enjolras. I would yell at him, he would yell at me. He would tell me how I didn’t care about the earth and her inhabitants, I would tell him that what I didn’t care about was actually his stupid face. It was a steady dynamic we had going, one that we had had for a couple years now… Before we began to bicker all the time, before we began to fight and hate each other’s guts, well… Well, that was a different story. But when we were eleven, when we were twelve, when we were just barely thirteen everything was different because we were fools. Looking at him then, as he was shaking slightly and looking so  _ sorry,  _ I saw a piece of a younger him in his eyes. I wanted to wipe that pathetically sad look right off his face and it made me wonder… I wondered why. Why I cared. Did I care? Was this what  _ caring  _ about  _ Enjolras  _ was like? God, I hoped not. Caring about Enjolras was the absolute last thing I needed in my life. I had enough on my plate as it was. Caring about Enjolras was in my past, just like our friendship. 

 

And yet, here I was, feeling this familiar ache in my heart, feeling the need to comfort him, the need to apologize. I hated him. I _hated_ him… or maybe… maybe I didn’t _hate_ him. Maybe I just _hated_ how I _still_ _felt_ about him deep in my heart. No matter how much I tried to convince myself, no matter how much I told myself I’d be better off without him, I couldn’t ever truly bring myself to be away from him. He brought a light to the world, a sickeningly sweet light that was so gentle, and yet so ardent. I...needed that light, craved that light. I was so full of darkness, so akin to the cold and lonely atmosphere of lurking in the shadows. When I was with him, I could forget for a moment. Feel warmth and love, and feel what being passionate about life truly felt like. When the arguing started, when I convinced myself I hated him, I exiled myself. I did not deserve light. He did not deserve darkness. They say opposites attract… but we repelled one another. We could not have been more different, and I could not have been more hopeless. And now there I was, “hating” the boy I used to be so close with. There I was, so full of bitterness and despair. And there he was, his feelings unknown but his eyes so full of emotion. 

 

That’s quite a lot to realize in the span of a few seconds. To know now that this person who I hate, well… To know that I don’t actually hate him. The only thing I hated was what he  _ did  _ to me. All that I hated was that he looked at me one day and took me within his light — he  _ burned  _ my eyes with that light. He held me in that warmth of his and then, with soft hands, with delicate fingers, he tore open my chest. He sunk fingernails into the tough muscle of my heart and he pulled it, pumping and bleeding, from within. He held that heart of mine between us. His was still safe and sound, his rib cage still acting as a barrier to protect it, but mine was in his hand and there was a gaping hole in my chest and he just smiled. Enjolras just smiled and tossed my heart to the side. He just smiled and cast me out of his warm light, back into the black and the cold of my world. It was quite a lot to realize, in a matter of moments, that I didn’t hate him at all. I just knew that if I pushed him away, if I could convince myself to cut him out of my life, that would hurt a hell of a lot less than if I opened myself up and brought my walls down and got rejected in the process. It made sense, I told myself. One with a wound in their chest does not walk around with the ease that one with no wound does. 

 

I needed to be on my own. Needed to be away from him and everything he stood for, because I was not one of those things. I was not someone he would defend. I was not Courfeyrac, or Combeferre or Feuilly- or even Marius fucking Pontmercy. I was not his friend, not a true “amis”. I was just a meaningless shadow, nothing but a fading silhouette that clung to a friend group they didn’t truly fit into. I was one of the joker cards, cast out because the king was more important. More games revolved around the king than the joker, after all. More people revolved around Enjolras than they did with me. Everyone worships the sun, nobody worships the darkness, except...maybe some body—no, two bodies worshipped the darkness, and I hated them for it. Funny how I hated the people that cared about me, and loved the ones that didn’t. 

 

I was walking. I didn’t remember, and still can’t remember, going from staring at Enjolras, and Enjolras staring at me, to walking up to the castle. But I did, and I was, and soon Enjolras and I parted ways as we always did. He went to one side of the Great Hall, and I went to the other. This was us; opposites on separate sides of the world. 

“Good.” I thought to myself. This was how it was supposed to be, how it was meant to be. The fact that I was in Gryffindor and he, in Slytherin, only went on to show just how different we were. Just how much we were supposed to hate each other and how we were meant to be enemies, always. Rivals. 

 

“WHAT’S THE HAPS, BITCHESSSS?!?!?!?!” Dumbledore’s voice boomed across the Great Hall. All of us, the students, took our seats and turned our attention to our rather peculiar headmaster. “Alright, sit the fuck down and listen the fuck up. I got some announcements to make, ‘kay?” He adjusted his half moon spectacles that sat on his crooked nose. “Okay, first thing’s first. Your teacher last year was actually a Death Eater, we all been knew, so here’s what’s up! The Minister of Magic has sent this lady over here —” he pointed to probably the ugliest looking creature I had ever seen, even uglier than Neo and Aspen. “— this is Professor Rumbridge and — wh-what?” he turned away from all of us because our new professor seemed to be telling him something. He turned back to us. “Professor  _ Umbridge  _ — well, excuse me! — will be teaching you Defense Against the Dark Arts so there’s that. Also our Muggle Studies professor has quit, so we got this guy Professor Valjean who’ll be teaching that now. Mostly because he’s the only one who applied.” Dumbledore paused to point at Professor Valjean and I frowned — that was  _ Jean  _ Valjean, Enjolras’ dad. “Right and it has also come to my attention that Severus Snape is sort of… like… not the best teacher? I’ve been told that he… like… bullies the students? And that he’s unfair and favors his own students over others? And that he’s caused actual psychological and emotional damage to some students? I’m not gonna fire him, though, I just got him a co-teacher. So this here is Professor Javert.” The headmaster pointed to a man that, though I thought it was impossible, looked even angrier than Snape did. “Well, anyway, on to our final order of business before the Sorting can begin. As you all know, last year we held a Triwizard Tournament. Now,  _ unfortunately,  _ that was  _ ruined  _ by  _ someone dying! _ ” Dumbledore coughed and muttered something beneath his breath that rhymed with ‘Redric Higglory’ causing a sixth year girl at the Ravenclaw table to burst into tears and run out of the room. “So we’ve decided to hold  _ another  _ Tournament this year! WOOHOO! So Beauxbatons and Durmstrang will be arriving in a couple weeks and then we’ll start taking names and then we’re going to announce the champions! No one from Hufflepuff can be the Champion though because  _ someone  _ —” he coughed and again said something that sounded a hell of a lot like ‘Cedric Diggory’. “Well, anyway. That’s it. I’m gonna go to my room, listen to MCR, and smoke some pot. Dumbledore out. Peace!”

 

“Wow...quite the Opening Ceremony, don’t you think?” Eponine said from her place next to me. I nodded, not quite sure what to say. Next was the Sorting Hat Ceremony, which literally takes too fucking long. I sighed, a bit impatiently. I just wanted to be back in the safety of the Gryffindor common room. I just wanted this fucking day to be over.  

 

The only good thing about the Sorting Ceremony was that this year was Eponine’s little brother’s first year at Hogwarts. Eponine had her fingers crossed beneath the table and I watched her, her eyes squeezed shut, praying her baby brother would be in the same house as her so she could keep on eye on him like she did at home. I watched her and I smiled. I might not have been Enjolras’ friend, and all of the amis may have liked Enjolras a whole lot more than they liked me, but I had Eponine.  _ She  _ was my best friend.  _ She  _ was there for me through thick and thin, and I for her. Who needed stupid Enjolras?

 

Not me. I did  _ not _ need him and I certainly did not need his friends. I had Eponine, and as much as I hated to say it, I had stupid Aspen and Neo. Enjolras and the amis could play their games, could laugh and have fun without me. Hell, they probably wouldn’t have even missed me if I stopped hanging around them, and that was fine by me. I wasn’t going to cling to them anymore. I was going to finally free myself from whatever bonds held me to that group. Would I miss them? Probably. But I had figured I was better off in the long run. 

 

I was torn from my thoughts when Eponine spoke to me. “Hey, Grantaire?” she said. “Do you think, you know… since there’s going to be another Tournament. Um. Do you — do you think think there’s going to be another Yule Ball?” Her eyebrows were knitted closely together, her forehead creased. She was looking across the hall and I followed her gaze to the Hufflepuff table; I followed her gaze to Marius fucking Pontmercy. 

 

“Probably.” I mumbled, wondering if I should tell her Marius was too much of a fuck to realize just how much Eponine loved him, and just how much of an amazing person Eponine was. Eponine deserved better than him. Way better than Marius fucking Pontmercy. 

 

“Oh, oh!” Eponine said, hitting my shoulder and pointing toward the group of first years that were huddled tightly together. “There he goes, there he goes!” she exclaimed and, sure enough, it was Gavroche’s turn to be Sorted. Most of the first years stumble up toward the Hat, some would trip and fall, but Gavroche was graceful as ever and he skipped up to the stool. He plopped down and grinned as McGonagall dropped the hat onto his head. 

He had only been on the chair for roughly a second before the Sorting Hat had called out “GRYFFINDOR”. Eponine jumped up from her seat and began to cheer for her sibling, and I followed her lead, yelling out “YEAH GAVROCHE!” 

 

The boy in question was grinning. He leapt from the chair as the Sorting Hat was plucked from his head. I watched as he made his way towards us, tackling  his sister into a hug. Eponine laughed and caught her brother, messing up his hair. I felt myself grin. 

 

Our meal was delicious as always, and after we were done we headed up to our dormitory. Eponine and I were deep in conversation on the way up the many staircases it took to get to the Gryffindor common room, and Gavroche rode piggy back style on my back, falling asleep on my shoulder. 

 

Eponine moved to the front of the group, along with Bahorel, since the two of them were prefects. Hermione Granger stood, arms crossed, looking obviously pissed that  _ she  _ was not made a prefect, while Eponine and Bahorel announced that the new password was, “Oxlips”.

 

The painting swung open, revealing the Gryffindor common room. There was a fire already burning away in the fireplace, which lit the room in a warm glow. Everything was peaceful for the most part, but I could hear the sounds of two very annoying voices approaching as they whooped and hollered. 

 

“Oh. My. God.” I said, my eyes fluttering and as they slowly rolled up into the back of my head. Eponine looked at my, looking confused and a tad concerned, as she took Gavroche from my back and into her arms, but before she could ask what was wrong Neo and Aspen appeared from with in the crowd. They were in their uniforms now. 

 

Neo’s hair was looking impossibly messier than it had on the train. His shirt was only half tucked in, and his robes were nowhere to be seen. Instead of his uniform’s dress trousers, he wore shiny, skin tight booty shirts that read ‘ **_JUICY_ ** ’ in big letters across his ass. He still wore his sandals with socks. The part that pissed me off the most about his ensemble, though, was how impeccably his tie was tied when I couldn’t tie mine at all (it also pissed me off that it was half Gryffindor’s colors and half Hufflepuff’s). Aspen, on the other hand,  _ did  _ have her robes and  _ did not  _ have her tie tied and instead of a normal fucking tie she wore a  _ rainbow bowtie  _ hanging around her neck. Her shirt was entirely untucked, her skirt was shredded, and she wore striped leggings that were tucked into her Doc Martens (it was a new pair of Doc Martens, these were black). On her robes, she had a cherry pin

 

I rolled my eyes hard, and tried to turn away from them, as if I had not noticed them coming towards me. They were laughing quite obnoxiously about something having to do with yams. I fucking hated yams. I fucking hated them and just wished they could leave me alone for a single night.    
  


Neo and Aspen harmonized as they sang out my name in unison. They came running toward me, arms open wide, ready to hug me, but they were interrupted by Seamus Finnigan shouting across the common room, “ _ You’re a bloody fucking liar, Potter! _ ”

 

“YA FUCKING MUM KID. YA FUCKING MUM.” Harry shouted back, and I watched as Neo and Aspen dropped their outstretched arms, and turned to watch the fight unfold.

 

“Dude, let’s go!” Neo said, grinning sadistically. 

 

“Oh, hells yes, you know we are!” Aspen grinned back at her best friend. 

 

I was about to tell them that no, this was a very bad idea and that they shouldn’t get involved in other people’s business, but then I had a sudden and very happy thought,  _ Maybe they’ll get in a fist fight and die. _

 

I watched as Neo and Aspen raced across the common room toward the fight, both of them yelling obscenities at Seamus and Harry. There was a series of “Ya mums” and “Fuck off mates” and whatever shit that came spewing from Neo and Aspen’s mouths on a daily basis. I wanted to scream. This was so fucking extra.

I rolled my eyes harder than I ever had before, and that was saying something. “I’m gonna put Gavroche to bed and then I’m going to sleep. I’ve had enough of their bullshit for one day.” I smiled at her, said goodnight, and waded through the fight to get to the staircase that led to the boys’ dormitories. I stopped at the first years room, dropping off Gavroche in the bed that had his trunk at the foot of it, then continued on down to the fifth years dormitory. I began changing into pajamas when, not five minutes later, Neo entered the room. 

 

“Sup, my second most favorite human in the world. How was your day?” He asked me, seeming much more chill without the presence of Aspen around. It was like they fed off each others’ malicious energy. 

 

I sucked in a deep breath and sighed a long and heavy sigh. I turned away from him as I was pulling on my pajama shirt. “I’ll be honest with you, Neo. I’m having a pretty rough day. I’m stressed, I’m tired, I’m ready for the Christmas holiday and classes haven’t even started yet. I don’t even know know why I’m telling you all this but, like… ugh. My life is just falling apart right now, you know? It all feels like such a mess.”

 

“Yeah man, I get that...wholeheartedly. I might not completely understand what you’re going through, but I want you to know I’m here for you, regardless. The world is a cruel place, but it gets better when you surround yourself with not-so-cruel people. I used to think life wasn’t worth living, but then I met Aspen and figured that— fuck yeah this is absolute hell but one person out of 7 billion people makes the world a little less insufferable.” He said as he, too, began pulling on pajamas. 

 

I nodded slowly. Because yeah, that all made perfect sense. I began to turn, about to smile at Neo Axel Tequila Crimson Holliday for the first time ever, but before I could my jaw dropped because Neo had exposed his bare ass to me and he was pointing to a bomb that was tattooed there. “See?!” He exclaimed. “Isn’t it a nice tattoo?!”


	2. Wake Me Up When September Ends

*Grantaire’s P.O.V.*

 

Enjolras was far from my mind on the first day of classes, for once. Unfortunately that was only because I had much more pressing matters to think about. Like O.W.L.s — I’d completely forgotten about the fucking O.W.L.s, but it was fifth year and even though they were a whole school year away I could already feel the sense of doom the horrid exams brought with them weighing down upon my shoulders. Then, of course, there was Neo and Aspen. Always Neo and Aspen, always there, right behind me or right next to me everywhere that I went. 

 

They were somehow in every single fucking one of my classes. I mean, we might have been in the same house, but god. I was so sick of their shit. Luckily, I had found my way out...the one class I knew they wouldn’t take...Muggle Studies. From what I heard, it was mostly boring, and there were only ever five kids in that class at a time. I figured I’d probably be safe from their shenanigans, because the class wasn’t as “juicy” as all the rest were.

 

There were very few people in class, as expected, and I wasn’t very early when I walked in so my hopes were still held high. I settled into a seat toward the back, despite the sea of empty desks. I rifled through my book bag until I found the one I was looking for and I set it down before me. I looked up to the front of the classroom where the professor — I still couldn’t believe that Enjolras’  _ dad  _ was going to be my professor all year — was organizing notes and papers and things on his desk before him. I was just about to look away, back down at my book, when I  _ heard  _ it. The familiar sounds of footsteps that fell too loudly, laughter that rang out and pierced the ears of those surrounding it, and my heart dropped into my stomach. 

 

Aspen kicked open the already open door, Neo following behind her. They both carried cups of Starbucks in their hands, and were talking quite loudly about dumb shit, like always. I groaned aloud and let my head fall on the surface of the desk. My attention, however, was called back to the two as Neo let out a low whistle. 

 

“Damn Aspen… he’s so much more buff in person!” Neo had said, his eyes, for once, had not been focused on me...rather they were focused on Professor Valjean. Enjolras’  _ dad _ . I felt myself gag and choke on my own spit. 

 

Professor Valjean looked up, very slowly, from the papers spread out before him, obviously having heard what Neo had said. He looked around the room, trying to figure out who the boy could be talking about in such a manner as that. It was to his complete and utter horror that Valjean found his new student’s eyes trained on  _ him _ .

 

I watched as Professor Valjean’s facial expression turned into one of pure shock. Neo simply smiled at the man, revealing his pearly white fangs. He winked at Valjean. I suddenly wanted to die. Before I had the opportunity to off myself, however, another duo had entered the room. Enjolras and Cosette. God, jesus, what the fuck? Why can’t I catch a single break? I thought to myself as I quickly looked away from them. I didn’t want to risk making eye contact with  _ him,  _ not after what had happened yesterday. 

 

“Where’s all the rest of your friends?” I heard Cosette asking Enjolras and there was suddenly a sharp pain in my head because  _ no,  _ dear God above,  _ no!  _ What I was hearing could not be that in this class, this  _ one class  _ where I was supposed to have some damn peace and quiet, I was going to have to deal with Neo and Aspen’s bullshit, Enjolras’ idiocy,  _ and  _ the ridiculousness of the rest of the amis. It couldn’t be! I wouldn’t accept it! Or, at least, I didn’t  _ want  _ to accept it, but I looked up just as Enjolras turned to his twin sister and told her, “They’ll be here any minute. Class hasn’t started yet, anyway.”

 

As if right on cue, every single amis burst into the classroom. They were all laughing, and skipping, and singing and talking. It made me feel nauseous, and I could feel a familiar searing pain radiate throughout my skull. I was getting a headache. What was next? An aneurysm? 

 

“Grantaire!” exclaimed Courf in that fake cockney accent. His arm was already around Combeferre… typical. “We didn’t know you were taking this class! What a coincidence! Hey, have you seen who our professor is? It’s Enjolras’  _ dad!  _ How crazy is that? Come on, come sit up here with us!” I think I’d rather have that aneurysm. 

 

I shook my head at him. “No thanks.” I hissed out bitterly, crossing my arms over my chest. I turned my attention away from them, away from the amis and away from those fuckwads, Neo and Aspen. I turned to my book instead, opening it to the first page so that it would look like I was busy with something. I wondered if there was a spell I could use to erase my memory of the amis, and of Neo and Aspen. Wondered if there was someway to forget everything they made me witness. 

 

That got me thinking… what if they all thought the same about me? I highly doubted Neo and Aspen would ever want to forget me, though if they did secretly hate me and their life goal was to make my life a living hell, well, they were doing a good job it. Still, I doubted it. But the amis…  _ Enjolras _ … Maybe they wondered if there was an easy way to erase me from their lives. Maybe they got together sometimes, pouring over library books and desperately searching for the perfect spell to just wipe me out altogether.  _ That all seems very unlikely,  _ said Logical Grantaire. 

 

_ But then again,  _ said my anxiety,  _ does it?  _ I could feel the familiar feeling of self-doubt begin to flood my every thought, and could feel my pulse quicken. Why did I care anyway? Why did I care so much about what they thought about me? Why couldn’t I breathe at the mere prospect of them hating me? My hands were shaking as I tried to flip the pages of my book. For some reason, I could feel tears threatening to spill from my eyes. I took a moment. I closed my eyes, tried to catch my breath and stop my hands from twitching. 

 

A hand was suddenly resting, ever so gently, upon my shoulder. My eyes flew open, head snapped up, and the hand drew quickly back. I opened my mouth to yell at Enjolras or Neo or Aspen but Cosette said, quickly, “I’m sorry, I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I didn’t mean to startle you.” And what was I supposed to say to that? I’d hardly ever said more than a few words to Cosette, and now she looked at me and tilted her head and said, “ _ Are  _ you okay?”

 

“I’m fine.” I managed the words, though I was not fine at all. I was stuck in this awful place and in an awful state of mind. I wanted so desperately to be back in my bed, under the covers with a bottle of stolen whatever so I wasn’t sober. So I could hide from the world and from the amis and from Aspen and Neo and all of Hogwarts. It was my first day back at school, and I already wanted to disappear of the face of the Earth just so I didn’t have to deal with any of this shit anymore.  _ You’d probably be happier if you were dead.  _ Another voice in my mind said, quite bitterly. For a split second, I believed that voice and then I felt disgusted with myself. 

 

“Are you sure?” Cosette asked gently and I nodded, though I wasn’t really paying all that much attention to her. I was so focused on myself, the thoughts bubbling and brewing inside my head and what a mess they had all become. But I saw Cosette nodding and I looked to her when she settled into the chair beside me. “You know, Grantaire, I worry about you sometimes… Sorry if that’s weird. I know we don’t really know each other. But you and Enjolras used to be so close. You were so good to him and I love my brother more than anyone else in the world, so… Well, anyway, even after you two… I don’t know. I don’t really know what happened between you two, and it’s not really my business so I’m not going to pry. But when you two stopped being close, I — I saw a change in you, and in him too. I’m worried about him. I’m worried about you. Just… just talk to someone, okay? If you need to. I know you don’t know me but talk to  _ someone  _ if you’re not okay, won’t you? Promise me that?”

 

I felt a bitter laugh bubble up in the back of my throat, but I suppressed it. Cosette didn’t deserve bitterness. She was far too kind and I could not find it in myself to be mean to her. After all, she...she was worried about me. It was so strange to know someone worried about you. It made me wonder… just how much did I change? I didn’t think I had changed at all. I was just always the same old Grantaire. I didn’t think Enjolras changed much either. He was still himself. Still his calculated, serious, passionate self. I saw no difference between he and I. No, the only difference I saw was how we treated each other, and how he had chosen them- the amis, and left me in his shadow. 

 

“Alright, class,” Professor Valjean addressed the room. “It is time for us to begin. Please take your seats,” he said this while staring pointedly at Aspen and Neo who had taken to zumba dancing atop a pair of desks. Cosette smiled at me one more time before leaving my side to go sit with the amis. “Let us journey into a world very different from our own, one without magic but just as special as ours.”

 

I fucking hated this goddamn class so much. And it was only getting worse. I tried to listen to Professor Valjean, tried to focus on my work, but Neo’s dramatic and loud sighing made things difficult. And it certainly didn’t help that the amis kept passing notes and giggling at one another. 

 

My eyes were glued to the clock, watching the minutes tick by at an unnaturally slow pace. Each second seemed to last a minute, each minute an hour. When Marius fucking Pontmercy burst through the door, tripping over his shadow and his own two feet, stumbling to a desk and stammering that he was “so sorry —  _ so, so  _ sorry, Professor! Sorry I’m late!”, I was sure the clock was lying to me,  _ sure  _ that we were not a mere five minutes into a ninety minute class. But the hands on the clock seemed to snicker and laugh at me and say coldly, “Yes, Grantaire, it’s only been five minutes of torture!”

I let out an audible groan, and let my head drop onto the surface of the desk for the second time in 10 minutes. Marius fucking Pontmercy was here, along with the amis and Neo and Aspen. The whole fucking shitshow was finally together and I was stuck in a room with them for another hour and 25 minutes. I felt my soul momentarily leave my body, but it returned when Professor Valjean cleared his throat and picked back up with his boring lesson on muggle technology through the ages. 

 

Ten minutes into class, with a whopping eighty minutes to go, I could hear Neo talking to Aspen. I knitted my brows together and leaned toward him to listen, then I realized, with horror, that I was so bored by this fucking class that I was actually trying to hear what  _ Neo Axel Tequila Crimson Holliday  _ had to say. I regretted doing so immediately, of course, when I heard him say, “Aspen, come on, I mean  _ really  _ — look at those thighs! He’s got some good quality thighs!”

 

I actually choked on my own spit this time, and started coughing pretty hard. These fucking idiots were literally going to be the death of me. 

“Okay, I will admit… they are good thighs, however….look at his calves! They’re very triangular.” Aspen said, laughing a bit as I continued to choke to death in my fucking chair. 

 

“Hey!” Neo hissed at Aspen. “His calves are  _ perfect.  _ They’re not  _ very  _ triangular, they have the perfect amount of triangle in them — no more, no less.” Aspen hummed, examining our professor’s calves once and considering this. I felt myself becoming lightheaded due to lack of oxygen after choking for so long. 

 

“Besides-” Neo started. “As long as he has good thighs… nothing else matters. Thicc thighs save lives, and lord I am most certainly saved.” He said, dreamily. I fell out of my chair then, in complete and utter shock. My vision was full of random black dots, and everything was blurry. God how long had I been choking? I was actually going to fucking die there. My head continued to swim as nausea began to set in. They were literally killing me. They were sickening! Sickening.

 

The next thing I remember were Neo and Aspen’s faces. They swam into view above me and I realized with a sense of dread that I must have blacked out completely. Neo and Aspen were going back and forth, badgering me with questions. 

 

“Are you alright, Grantaire?”  

 

“You had us worried! What’s wrong?”

 

“Do you need to go to the hospital wing? We can take you! We’ll take you, won’t we, Neo?”

 

“Yeah, we will!”

 

“Fuck off” I grumbled, sitting up. It was then that I realized the whole class was staring at me. How mcfucking embarrassing. Quickly I brought myself to a standing position, but my legs betrayed me and I felt one of my knees buckle. I stumbled forward, right into the desk in front me of. I caught myself as best as I could, and tried to steady myself. I must have looked like a tomfool. 

 

“Grantaire, you really should go to the hospital wing,” Enjolras told me and I raised my eyebrows at him. “Sorry, but — but you fainted. That’s not just something that happens everyday. You should go get yourself checked out.”  _ Self righteous know it all,  _ I grumbled in my mind. 

 

“I am fine. Absolutely fine.” I said to him, matter-of-factly. “The only way I’d go to the hospital wing is if someone dragged me there kicking and screaming.” I folded my arms across my chest, stubbornly. He may have been right, but since when did he start giving a fuck about my health? I wasn’t going to listen to him tell me what to do. Not any-fucking-more. 

 

“Don’t test me,” Enjolras said, crossing his arms and looking me dead in the eyes. He wasn’t a particularly large guy — actually, he was rather lanky and delicate looking. Still, he fixed with a fiery stare, like he was trying to warn me not to mess with him. I snorted and stared right back at him. I replied slowly, evenly, “You. Wouldn’t.  _ Dare. _ ”

 

“Professor Valjean, considering Grantaire isn’t feeling well, and I’m concerned for his safety, is it alright if I escort him to the hospital wing?” Enjolras asked his father. I immediately felt my heart skip a beat and my stomach drop. That mother fucker… he wouldn’t…. He couldn’t! 

 

Professor Valjean struck his son with a look so confused, so puzzled, but he shook his head and sighed. “Grantaire, as much my so— as much as  _ Enjolras  _ may be poking his head into matters that are not his own business, he is right. You need to go to the hospital wing and let Madame Pomfrey see if anything is seriously wrong with you.”

 

_ Oh, no,  _ I thought.  _ He could.  _

 

Before I knew it, Enjolras was making his way toward my desk. I felt sick to my stomach then, my anxiety, my worry, my fear hit me like a ton of bricks and I could feel my chest begin to ache again. “ _ Get the fuck away from me,”  _ I wanted to scream, “ _ you don’t have the fucking right to touch me”  _ I wanted to yell. But my voice caught in my throat and I could not say nor find any of those words. 

 

Enjolras looked into my eyes. There was a hint of a smile upon his lips and that made me feel even worse. How dare he? How dare he threaten to invade my personal space without my permission and have the audacity to  _ smile  _ at me in the process? He got closer and closer, and I felt myself becoming more and more ill by the second. I watched him reach toward me and as I flinched away he said, “Come on, Grantaire, I’m not actually going to drag you there against your will. Please, just take my hand. Please. I want to make sure you’re alright.” 

 

He held his hand out to me. His delicate hand that had already taken so much from me. He took my heart, my happiness, what more could he possibly have wanted from me? I had nothing else to give to him. I had nothing left for him to steal from me, and perhaps because I knew this, I slowly gave him my shaking hand. He couldn’t hurt me, because there was nothing left to hurt. I felt dizzy, breathless as a short shock of energy and adrenaline radiated throughout my entire body.

 

This feeling which I had been calling hatred for such a long time wasn’t hatred at all. It was something very different. And so I watched him smile, I followed him to the hospital wing and prayed that he would never let go of my hand. What a dumb thing to wish for, I know, but I can’t deny that in that moment, all I wanted was to keep holding onto him forever and ever and ever. Looking into his eyes, those eyes that looked at me like their owner was worried about me, it was easy to pretend that he wanted the same. 

 

It was easy to forget. It was so very easy to forget how he had broken my heart, and it was so very easy to forget the bitterness inside me. Being with him, being near him, being back under his light left me feeling… happy again… almost fucking ecstatic. For once, it was just him and me. No amis, no Neo, no Aspen. I had his whole attention and I fucking reveled in it. I felt warm, fuzzy even. It was so strange, but so...nice. 

 

“What the fuck happened to you?” Someone asked harshly, ripping me from that beautiful place I’d been floating in. Enjolras and I looked up, across the hospital ward, and found that Dumbledore was sitting in the hospital bed opposite me, holding an ice pack to his forehead. Poking out from beneath the pack of ice was a deep, purple bruise. “Dude, what did you do to wind up here on the first day of classes?” the headmaster snorted.

 

“I- um… fucking started choking and then passed out? What about you, dude?” I asked, bewildered and confused, my hand still intertwined with Enjolras’. 

 

“Oh, bro, that’s fuckin’ embarassing,” Dumbledore laughed. “I was just rocking out to Green Day, you know, but I’m so high that I like… fell on my face.” 

 

“Oh, relatable.” I said, trying not to laugh my fucking ass off at my stoned as fuck school headmaster. Madame Pomfrey then entered the room, more ice packs clutched in her hands. She seemed to be mumbling something along the lines of “why does this happen every single fucking day?” but as soon as she saw me and Enjolras, she set down the ice packs and rushed toward the both of us. 

 

“What’s happened and who the fuck is ill?” She asked, seeming concerned.

 

“I’m not ill!” I huffed but Enjolras let go of my hand then in order to gesture to me, to let Madame Pomfrey know that I was the one who was ill. I fidgeted uncomfortably where I sat and I tried to soothe the itching sensation that was spreading over my now empty hand. 

 

“Okay. So what’s up? What happened? You look a tad pale.” Madam Pomfrey said, stepping forward as she placed a hand upon my forehead. “Hmm, you’re not warm so it can’t possibly be a fever.”

 

“I’m  _ fine, _ ” I huffed, pushing her hands away from me. “I keep telling everyone that, but no one’s been listening. It’s not that big of a deal.” I frowned and met Enjolras’ eye just as he was opening his mouth to tell me that passing out in class was, in fact, a big deal. Again. I glared at him and before he could speak I shouted, “I’m fine! It’s just…” I trailed off, suddenly very interested in staring at my hands. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me know, could feel them waiting expectantly. In a very quiet voice, just barely above a whisper, I told them, “I was just having a bit of anxiety.”

 

“That happens to the best of us.” Madam Pomfrey said gently. “If you’d like to take a moment to just chill out and relax and catch your breath, you’re free to stay here. I’ll go get some tea and some water but I’ll be back in a moment.”

 

And with that, Madam Pomfrey walked off. I could hear her shoes hitting the ground as she left, leaving Enjolras and I standing side by side, Dumbledore still chilling on a cot nearby. I could feel Enjolras’ eyes on me again, but stopped myself from looking up at him. I didn’t want him to see my embarrassment, nor did I want him to see my vulnerability. I didn’t want him to see me as weak...or incapable of taking care of myself even though I was all of those things and more.

 

“So, erm,” Enjolras said slowly. “Do you, uh… do you think you’ll make it to your next class?” he asked, obviously trying to veer the subject away from my absolute incompetence as a human being. “We’ve got it together. Defense Against the Dark Arts. I’m interested to see what this woman who Minister Fudge sent in is like.”

 

“Um, yeah...I think I’m alright now.” I said, though I still felt lightheaded and a little giddy. “I just...need a few more minutes and I’ll be okay.” I tried to reassure him, and myself because I wasn’t even sure if I’d really be okay by then. One can only hope.

 

After a few minutes, when I was feeling better, I got to my feet and Enjolras and I left the hospital wing together. We made our way up several staircases to our Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. We stopped dead in our tracks when we saw the classroom. The year before, the walls had been bare, the shades had been drawn shut, and there was always bottles of weird little creatures sitting about. Now, there were thin pink curtains on each window. A pink carpet had been put in, and all the chairs and desks had been repainted pink. The blackboard was still black, but the chalk that was there to write with was pink. Live kittens were frollicking about and I noticed that they smelled very strongly of perfume (their fur was all dyed pink).

 

I heard Enjolras gasp, and then mutter the words “That’s animal cruelty,” quite passionately under his breath. I just stood there in pure shock. This day...could not get any worse. This was literally hell. I was literally in hell. I was just sitting here probably about to drink strawberry daiquiris with hot pink Satan.

 

“Grantaire! Grantaire! Come sit with us!” Aspen’s shrill voice rang across the classroom. Enjolras and I turned to see her, standing on a chair and waving her arms excitedly as if I  _ wouldn’t  _ have been able to spot her in the crowd had she not indicated where in the room she was. Beside her, Neo was sat in a chair, picking the pink paint off of the desk with his fingernails. When he heard Aspen shouting my name, however, he looked up and grinned with all of his teeth. 

 

I shared a look with Enjolras, and whispered to him “Uh, can I sit with you? I can’t fucking stand them.” And although I had previously stated I was going to stay away from him, I really hoped he’d let me sit with him, because I suffered less with him and more with those...fucking gremlins.

 

Enjolras opened his mouth with a smile. The odds of him saying yes were looking good, but before he could respond, Neo hopped up beside Aspen and yelled, “Enjolras! You, too! Come on, buddies, come sit down!”

 

I sighed a long and heavy sigh. I dropped my head to my chest in defeat, but before I could say anything, Enjolras turned to me and placed a hand upon my shoulder. 

 

“Shall we not fucking stand them together?” Enjolras said, a small grin gracing his features. I felt my breath hitch in my throat, and I laughed an actual laugh. I couldn’t have helped it, Enjolras was not one for vulgarity usually. He removed his hand from my shoulder and held it out toward me, clearly wanting me to take his hand again. 

 

I slipped my hand into his, smiling at him. Then I turned to Neo and Aspen, frowning. “Let’s do this,” I said in a voice that sort of made it seem like we were walking into battle together (which, I mean, to be fair…). Enjolras and I sat down, side by side, in the seats that were directly behind Neo and Aspen’s seats. Together, we submitted ourselves to their creepy and oddly joyful wishes. 

 

“Heyyyyy Enjolrassssss.” Neo drawled out, winking mischievously at us. “Can I ask you a questionnnnnnn?”

 

“U-um.” Enjolras squirmed in his sight, forehead creased. “I… suppose so.”

 

“Is your dad….single?” Neo said, his eyes full of hope.

 

I snorted and looked to Enjolras, sure I was find him red in the face or wide eyed or in  _ some  _ state of shock. Instead, he looked Neo dead in the eyes with that iron stare of us. “Yeah, he’s been single for about nine years now,” Enjolras said evenly. “Ever since me and my sister were about six, and my mom  _ died. _ ”

 

“So he’s a widow is what you’re saying? Neo said, pausing to think about somethings. Finally he simply smiled. “ _ Delicious.  _ Oh, sorry about your mom by the way. That sucks. I know what it’s like to lose a parent.”

 

I watched Neo do a double take as he said that last bit and slowly look down at his hands. He began to twiddle his thumbs and he was the most subdued I’d ever seen him before. Aspen looked over at him sadly, reaching out to take one of his hands into hers. She squeezed his hand.

 

Enjolras and I exchanged a look. “I… I’m sorry, Neo. Having a parent die… it sucks. A lot. No one should ever have to go through it so young.”

 

“They didn’t die...they….they just stopped caring. One day they just...made the decision that I wasn’t worth it to them. That their youngest son was no good. He was too broken, too much of a bad thing. I didn't lose them physically, I lost them emotionally. They were my parents, and then...then they weren’t.” Neo said quietly, his hands beginning to shake as an unnatural frown graced his features. Then, his expression changed. His grin was back on his face, though the luster that was in his eyes minutes before was gone. “Anyway, wanna hear something funny?” He had said, his voice sounding like a forced kind of happy.

 

Enjolras and I exchanged a second look, and it was with no annoyance in my voice that I smiled and said, “Yeah, Neo. I think we’d both love to.” 

 

“Yeah, tell us,” Enjolras agreed. 

 

“Okay, so my snakecat, Otto Von Longdog, was just, chilling like he usually does while I was getting ready today and he just...starts sneezing. Everywhere. And I’m like ‘Otto what the fuck’ and Otto just!!!! Yells at me in his squeaky little snakecat voice while sneezing on everything I ever love! There was snot everywhere. I was absolutely mortified. And he just...ate it! Like, how mental is that!” Neo said, though he himself did not seem entertained by his story.

 

Aspen was laughing hysterically, doubled over and nearly falling out of her seat. Whether she actually thought the story was outstandingly funny or she was just trying to cheer up Neo was anyone’s guess. 

 

“Um, I just have one question,” I said. “What the fuck is a snakecat?”

 

“Um...it’s a cat but long? And thin? Like a snake? He’s like...a mischievous long cat.” Neo said, trying to explain the shape of the cat with his hands.

 

“That looks like… really small? To be a cat?” I said.

 

“Yeah,” Enjolras agreed. “That looks like a really,  _ really  _ small cat. Is it a kitten?”

 

“I’ve had him since 1st year...so he’s definitely not a kitten.” Neo said, looking confused himself. 

 

“Hmm…” Enjolras said. “Are you sure it’s a cat?”

  
“How the fuck have I never seen him?!” Grantaire screeched. “We live in a dorm together!”

 

“Wait! I have a picture!” Neo said, reaching into the fanny pack on his waist. He pulled out a picture and handed it to me and Enjolras. “There’s my boy! Otto Von Longdog.”

 

I took one look at the picture Neo had handed me and then I felt my eyes roll further back into my head than they ever had before. “Neo,” I said slowly, and I wasn’t sure that I had the composure to finish speaking. I mustered up all my energy, forced myself to look him right in his amber orbs and I said, “That is not a cat. That is a  _ fucking. Ferret. _ ”

 

Neo’s mouth fell agape. “Oh shit. That explains so much. The guy at the store told me he was a snakecat…” he seemed shook down into his core.

 

I looked to Enjolras, ready to laugh with him about the absurdity that was Neo Axel Tequila Crimson Holliday, but I found that he wasn’t paying any attention to the fact that Neo’s supposed snakecat was not a cat, nor snake, but in fact a ferret. Instead, he was gushing over the picture on Neo’s phone. When he saw the very odd look I was giving him, he said, “What’s that look for? I’ve got a thing for fluffy little rodents.”

 

Aspen asked, “Is it like a sex thing?”

 

Neo gasped, “OH MY GOD ARE YOU A FURRY LIKE RUMBRIDGE?” He shouted, just as Professor Umbridge walked into the room followed by several other students. 

 

“Detention, Mr Holliday!” Umbridge snapped. 

 

Neo stared at her, mouth agape, as she strutted by, her heels  _ click click _ ing on the ground. “WHAT?!” Aspen exclaimed. “THAT’S ABSURD!”

 

Neo cackled. “It’s okay Aspen. Detention is going to be more fun for me and absolute torture for her.” He said, a mischievous grin forming on his face.

 

“Oooooohh,” Aspen cackled. “You’re right. Oh, I’ll come along, too!” I was pretty sure that wasn’t how detention worked, but I didn’t bother correcting her. 

 

I rolled my eyes, and turned my gaze to Umbridge. She was just as pink and gaudy as the fucking classroom. She wore a pink two piece suit, a matching pink hat, pink heels, pink lipstick and pink contacts. What a fucking poser. 

 

The class settled down into their seats and everyone began taking out their new books as well as their wands. Umbridge took a sparkly pink bucket out then walked around the class, snatching people’s wands out of their hands and throwing them into her bucket. “You will get these back  _ after  _ class.”

 

“Mcscuseeee me bitch, but this is a wizarding school. You know...FOR WIZARDS?” Neo said crossing his arms. He was definitely going to get in serious trouble.

 

“ _ Double  _ detention, Mr Holliday,” Umbridge said coolly, and Neo was immediately on top of his desk, rolling up his sleeves and screeching, “I  _ will  _ throw hands!” And yeah, shit, he was about to get himself expelled, I was sure of it. 

 

“Sit down Mr. Holliday, this is a classroom not some dance club.” Umbridge said, indifferently and unbothered. 

 

“BITCH!” Neo huffed. “It is  _ BOTH! _ ”

 

Umbridge ignored him, which is the worst thing anyone could do to Neo because he needed attention to survive and ignoring him only made him act up more. Neo huffed, flopped down on the desk, and began to sigh dramatically.

 

Aspen tried gently soothing him, but all that resulted in was Neo draping himself forward over his desk, sobbing into the wood. Aspen patted his shoulder gently but he just began to sob harder, his tears gathering in small puddles atop the desk. 

 

Umbridge cleared her throat with a ‘hem hem’ and then began to speak to the class. “I know that this curriculum, in the past, has been taught using unconventional and unsafe methods. But, I assure you that that is set to change. The Ministry of Magic has provided us with an approved, safe curriculum.” She said, and with a flick of a wand, new textbooks were passed out to the entire class.

 

“SHE CAN USE HER FUCKING WAND BUT WE CAN’T?!” Neo exclaimed angrily then immediately began to sob again. “This is an outrage!” he exclaimed through tears. “This is against our rights as students… our right to learn magic the way magic is meant to be learnt! With wands! Enjolras, tell her! You’re a man of many speeches!”

 

Enjolras cleared his throat. “Professor, Neo does bring up a good point. This does infringe upon our rights. And this is how we have learned to use magic for the past 4 years. To strip us from our wands is to strip us from our freedom, from the true source of our magic and what makes our magic...special.”

 

Umbridge tutted. “No, no. You see, your rights at this school are whatever I say they are. The Minister of Magic is outright appalled by the manner in which this school is being run, and he has sent me here to assess and repair the situation. Now, that’s  _ triple  _ detention for you, Mr Holliday.” Umbridge turned to Enjolras, “And a detention for you, Mr Valjean.”

 

I watched as Enjolras’ mouth fell agape in shock, his eyebrows knitting together in frustration as he slowly sat back into his seat, defeated. Neo simply grinned and shrugged as if to say ‘oh well’. I sighed and rolled my eyes. This was going to be a long year.

 

We spent the class  _ taking notes  _ of all things. In magic school, magic class, we  _ took fucking notes.  _ It was arguably our most important class, too, what with the current political climate. I wasn’t quite sure where I stood on the whole ordeal, whether Voldemort was back or not, but I knew that if he  _ was  _ back and the wizarding world  _ was  _ going to break into a war on itself, then we needed to be prepared. Everyone needed to prepare for the worst.

 

And yet there we were...taking fucking notes rather than learning how to protect ourselves from some no nose having fuck. It was boring to say the least, and Umbridge gave out 50 more detentions that class, for stupid reasons. I think I hated this bitch more than I thought I hated Enjolras.

 

After class ended (which felt like eons later), Aspen and Neo raced off to wherever together, not even bothering to say goodbye to me or Enjolras which was completely out of the ordinary for them. Enjolras hugged a book to his chest and looked at me with the tiniest little smile. He asked me, “Wanna walk to dinner together?”

 

“Um, sure I said.” A bit shyly. Things had changed so quickly. I went from hating this boy to walking to classes together with him, sitting with him, and walking with him to dinner. I was so confused. Was he setting me up just for drop me? Why was he doing this all of a sudden? Why was he talking to me?

 

He could very well be doing all of those things and more, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was… And yet I followed. Maybe it was because I had no sense of self preservation, maybe it was because I was just plain stupid. Perhaps I was starving for the light, my body so accustomed to the darkness and so weak from lack of sunlight. Perhaps it was all of the above, but I guess the reasoning didn’t matter much. I followed. 

 

I had thought about earlier. How I had thought that everyone revolves around and worshipped the sun. I was no different, even though I had insisted otherwise. The thing about darkness is, it’s eternal. It’s always there. But you know what else is eternal? The constant rise and fall of the sun. The constant presence of warmth and light surfacing and fading and surfacing again. My darkness was eternal, his light was eternal. Everything that we had, good and bad, was eternal. Eternity isn’t such a great thing, and yet- it’s the most amazing thing. 

 

“Well, here we are,” Enjolras said when we stood in the doorway of the Great Hall. “I guess… I guess this is where we part ways.” 

 

“Yeah...I guess.” I said quietly. “See you around Enjolras.” I waved goodbye to him and made my way to the Gryffindor table, begrudgingly.

 

“What’s got you looking so down in the dumps?” Eponine asked around a mouthful of food when I slumped down beside her. “Actually, wait! Let me guess! Is it those Neo and Aspen dudes? I saw you sitting with them in Defense Against the Dark Arts. You looked like you were in physical pain.” 

 

“It’s partly them.” I sighed, placing food on a plate, knowing I probably would just play with rather than eat it. “They are too extra.” I mumbled.

 

“Tell me about it,” Eponine sighed. “I woke up in the middle of the night last and I could hear Aspen in the bed next to me — the two of them were  _ FaceTiming.  _ As if they’re not both in the Gryffindor dormitories. As if they couldn’t just go  _ down to the common room  _ and  _ talk to each other…  _ like…  _ face to face..  _ It’s real life FaceTime!” 

 

“I can’t stand them.” I rolled my eyes, picking up my fork. “Oh hey, did Dumbledore mention when the Triwizard Tournament was gonna be? He did say that was happening again right?” I asked curiously. 

 

“Yeah, that’s happening,” Eponine sighed. “It’s so dumb! A student  _ died  _ last year!” I nodded in agreement, watching her face get redder and redder. “It’s disgusting! Ugh!” She swiped her hair out of her eyes, sighed again, and said, “Anyway, to answer your question, no. He didn’t say when it would be held. Honestly, though, he probably doesn’t know when it will be himself. He’s too high to remember anything most of the time.”

 

“I wish I were too high to remember anything.” I mumbled under my breath. “Oh, uh, thanks for answering my question by the way. How was your first day?” I asked, because I care about my friends.

 

“Shitty,” Eponine huffed. “I was too distracted thinking about how Gavroche was doing on his first day, in all his first classes, that I could hardly focus on my classes at all. Ugh… That kid…”

 

“Oh, yeah, that sucks,” I said, chewing my food. “But at least he’s adorable.”

 

“Mm,” Eponine said, also chewing her food. “You right.”

 

We finished chewing our food, then left the Great Hall and went to bed.


End file.
